ill babies and a lying partner

It has been a few days since I last posted which is very remiss of me but I do have a good excuse - both myself and Pork Chop have been rather ill, me with a stinking cold and Pork Chop with a tummy upset which for two nights in a row meant she cried non-stop and shat herself on an alarmingly regular basis. And there is nothing like pungent baby diaorrhea to wake you up at 2o'clock in the morning.

As I said, I have had a cold and so getting up to deal with my poorly daughter has not been much fun. Thank God and touch wood she hasn't got my cold because that would really be the turgid icing on the crap cake that has been my week.

So basically I am writing this with a bit of a runny noise, sore throat and eyes being held open by matchsticks. I am assuming The Other Half is on one of his London lads benders as I haven't heard from him since he left at 8am. I know longer even get angry - at least it allows me to blog in peace - although it would be nice to know he is not lying in a gutter somewhere, just wasted in a bar with a load of other suits.

It also gave me the chance earlier on to steam open a letter from his solicitor. Even now I can't believe I actually did it and do feel rather guilty. It is after all a criminal offence I believe to open someone else's mail but I was curious to see what it said as for some time now I don't believe he has been telling me the whole truth about his court action against the ex-bitch. I don't mean in terms of what the facts are or what she has done. I have seen for myself all too graphically how much she lies, cheats and uses his own daughter against him. No, I am talking about the financial side of things.

As he engaged new solicitors all he has to do with his old ones as far as I am aware is pay the bill and then he is free of the useless, money-sucking fuckers. He told me that the bill was only about £6,000. An awful lot of money to most of us but not desperate considering what he earns. However, according to the letter it is more in the region of £25,000 plus interest. I of course have resealed the letter so he will never know but it terrifies me what this means for the future. £25,000 is an awful lot of money and not something that can be paid off quickly. So do I confront him or do I let it rest? If he lies about something like that what else has he been economical with the truth about?

I am 110 per cent sure our relationship as whole is fine. I don't believe for one second he is having an affair or would indeed contemplate it but I do wonder about the financial side of things about which he is always very very cagey. It just makes me concerned for our life together and our family. I don't want anything to destroy that.

On a lighter note Pork Chop has been farting for England the last couple of days. That girl has no shame and The Other Half is unashamedly proud of her.

Things to make you heave

Two days ago I went shopping with my friend. Rather than go through the whole, "Sorry we can't heat your baby food, it's against screwed health and safety rules" scenario in one of the local restaurants we walked back to mine to feed Pork Chop. Fortunately I have the luxury of living right in the town centre and very close to the shops.

I plonked Pork Chop on the floor amongst her myriad of toys and went to prepare a tasty and nutritious slop that was once trout and courgette savoury before it was blended into oblivion. I went to retrieve her and was surprised at how unusually quiet she was. The reason soon became clear - Pork Chop was muching merrily on a slug. I nearly heaved on the spot, my friend M said she wasn't sure she could stomach her sandwich and Pork Chop just sat their grinning inanely with slug entrails dripping from her chin.

Quite where she got the slug from I do not know. I can only assume one of us walked in and didn't notice.

And by the way, yesterday I got to see the ex-bitch in the flesh for the first time and she bears an uncanny resemblance to Heather Mills-McCartney. Weird. Anyway, I am happy to say that although she may be the size of a Barbie doll and her perfect blonde hair was coiffed to within an inch of its life I still reckon I looked better than her. She is 18 years my senior and that is one thing she can never ever change! For the record I haven't gone and got a sugar daddy, The Other Half was in fact a bit of a toy boy when married with an older wife.