The nursery nightmare

I am currently in the process of trying to find a nursery for Pork Chop in the event that I do decide to go back to work. I am already limited in my options because unlike certain supermums I didn't put her name down when she was still just a twinkle in her daddy's ....

Still, there are plenty to choose from out there. It is just deciding which one is best which is the problem. Admittedly I have only visited three so far but my first thoughts are these:

Number 1: The worst one of all. All the girls working there were fat and ugly and the place smelt of shit. The baby room had just one cot and other babies were expected to sleep on the floor. the garden was a small patch of concrete and the whole place generally had the air of a Romanian orphanage if that is possible. I was shown around by a girl, who though pleasant enough, clearly didn't want to be showing me round with any great enthusiasm. Where was the manager, the professionalism? The only thing it really had going for it was being two hundred yards from our house.

Number 2: I was greeted by the manager. All the girls working there were young, fit and good looking (this is a requirement of The Other Half's, not mine but I can see his point). It was opposite a lovely park where they take the kids twice a day, weather permitting, and it had lots of sensory rooms for the children to throw themselves around in without getting hurt. Bonus - it also had one cot for every baby and was ten quid cheaper than the Romanian lookalike. Oh and it also had a lovely garden with real grass and a vegetable patch.

Number 3: Higly professional, about the same price as number 2 but looked more like a school than a nursery and was on a very busy main road. I may be a little pushy but even I don't think Pork Chop is ready yet to learn her 12 times table and how to join up her writing. We were greeted by an overly friendly, slightly rotund manager. Very very talkative but a little bit strange. "Hello, and how are you today?" (I'm not the child, daughter is you don't have to speak to me like I'm three).

So number two is looking good if I go back and that's by no means definite. Have had meeting with editor and he is thinking about my request for part time hours. In reality because he is a mysogynist it means he was paying me lip service and will consider my request only because he is legally obliged to until he can come up with some credible reasons why it won't work. Hmmm watch this s pace

P.S. still loving I'm a Celeb - it's a close run thing between David Gest and Dean Gaffney right now but Lauren Booth just really gets on my tits.