My friend's dating disaster

I know I may moan about The Other Half rather a lot by I am actually quite happy with him and grateful we are in a longterm loving relationship even if he can be a lazy arsehole on all too frequent basis. I do miss those first tentative shags with a new partner and the excitement of meeting someone new but on the whole I am really rather glad to have settled down.

The advantages of this are as I see it:

- No more nervous first fumblings - The Other Half has a pretty good idea of what I like now.
- No more embarrassing STD tests because a) the condom split or b) you forgot to put one on during your drunken stupor.
- No more waiting by the phone, checking your messages for the thousandth time that morning to see if he has called.
- Less need to keep your bits trimmed - although I do personally like to maintain a high standard in that area because even if you are familiar with your partner it is nice to have something to tempt him down there rather than some out of control hairy muff monster.
- You don't have to run to the loo the morning after to brush your teeth, adjust your makeup and brush your hair - The Other Half is aware I am human and look not disimilar to a yeti with bad breath first thing.
- And finally, you can take a pee in front of him while he is brushing his teeth/shaving and he doesn't think it is a bit too familiar (He has after all seen me giving birth so the lack of toilet etiquette is mild by comparison).

However, I draw the line at farting. No matter how well you know someone it is never nice to have your head held under the duvet while he lets one rip in your face.

A close friend of mine is currently going through a bit of a relationship crisis. She is in her early 30s and although she won't admit it, would secretly like to settle down with someone worthwhile. Her current beau in my view is clearly not the man for the job.

She freely admits he is not longterm boyfriend material and has a temper which she euphemistically describes as "a bit volatile". Although I would say that was being generous after he screamed at her in the street for walking to the next pub, not realising he wasn't behind her because he had nipped off for a quick piss in an alley, and then stormed off shouting in her face: "What part of fuck off do you not understand?" A slight overreaction some might say.

However, she also freely admits he is fabulous in the sack, a little rough and dirty (not necessarily a bad thing if you ask me), but nevertheless he presses all her buttons. The Other Half reckons she is in love with him but after 18 months of abstinence I think she is in love with his meat and two veg. And cock love, which some might call lust, never lasts forever and is certainly not a good foundation on which to build a relationship.

Last I heard she was going to "talk" with him and I don't know what the outcome was. I really want her to be happy because she is a fabulous person and deserves better but that is up to her - I shall keep you posted once I know myself.