My day as the invisible man

Today I have been attempting my domestic goddess routine. It had all been going so well despite Pork Chop being up half the night so I am knackered. I cleaned the kitchen, the toilet, whizzed up some delightful organic pureed mush for her, took her for a jab and sorted all the washing. I also managed a walk in the park and unsurprisingly I was as usual ignored, forced to move out the way and generally looked down upon by certain non-parent people.

That's not to say that everyone is like that. To be fair there are some lovely people who are courteous when someone is pushing a pram up a steep hill and will allow you to pass without forcing you off the pavement but it seems that more often than not, a mother or father is viewed as a second class citizen. You become almost invisible, you feel guilty for standing in front of the magazine rack in WH Smith because a 19-year-old huffs and can't reach the latest copy of Closer. You blush and move on hurriedly as you struggle with baby and cappuccino in Starbucks. People walk in front of you, let doors go in your face or stop abruptly so you are forced to either ram the pushchair into their legs or perform the infant equivalent of an emergency stop. All this, has led me to think what is it about pregnancy and parenting that makes us so invisible or worthy of contempt from the general population?

It not only affects day to day shopping trips but the workplace is a hotbed for it as well. We may be in the 21st century but I would not call us all that enlightened. A prime example is my boss, who if he knew I was writing this would probably kill me, or at least sack me on the spot. While legally I am entitled to return to work I have more than a sneaking suspicion he would be dancing on his desk if I didn't. I don't think it is just me either, he seems to have a certain amount of difficulty in dealing with female employees and as a rule doesn't like us very much.

i remember one particular news conference where the news list was shit - there were no good news stories that day and God himself wouldn't have been able to alter that. I had the dubious pleasure of taking afternoon conference with him and after I did my best to sell my lacklustre list to him I got the usual bollocking - now this is the law of the land in newspapers as a rule. If you don't have decent stories, and sometimes even if you do, it is the editor's God given right to still make you feel like a tit in front of your colleagues. You get used to it and develop a thick skin. However, a colleague who remained with him after conference then told me he had said: "Oh, it must be because she is pregnant."

And that is what I object to - since when does the fact I am pregnant have anything at all to do with the type of news on the agenda. Just because I am knocked up doesn't make a story shit or good. It is what it is.

He is not the only example of the complete lack of equality when it comes to pregnant women. At the time I was only a couple of months gone I was also doing semi-regular shifts for a national newspaper which shall remain nameless. A friend of mine on staff there mentioned to the newsdesk I was pregnant and hey presto! no more shifts and a p45 in the post the following week. Fuck you very much. It could be that they thought I was shit but considering up until that point they seemed quite happy to keep calling me back I suspect it might have something to do with being up duff.

So all in all it left with quite a nasty taste in my mouth regarding the newspaper industry I work in which isn't child friendly at the best of times. But as I mentioned this second rate standards for parents and parents to be also extends to the rest of society. Granted kids can be bloody irritating, especially when they are someone elses, but please give us a chance - just because we have had them doesn't mean we're fucked up and incapable too.